OUR 3 YEAR MILESTONE
Wow, what a year we have experienced! Time has flown by at lightning speed and I can’t believe that it’s New Years Eve and we have now been living in Portugal for 3 whole years. Time really does fly when you’re having fun, for sure. It’s certainly been an eventful year and very memorable indeed. Where do I start? Let’s commence with the bad and the ugly then finish on a high with the positives.
Nasty Negatives
I had an absolute nightmare with my daughter’s British passport renewal. She renewed her passport 9 weeks prior to her July summer flight to Portugal but did not receive it back in time so didn’t make it out here until August. I tried to help her and phoned the passport office over 100 times! It was torture and in the end we were able to extradite her application after 10 weeks had lapsed and she eventually physically collected her passport from the Newport office. I haven’t had one of the best years regarding my health and wellbeing. I am officially Menopausal, my periods stopped at the very start of the year and I’m experiencing the not so very fun side effects such as insomnia, night sweats, brain fog and extreme fatigue. I suffered a sporting injury to my foot and shoulder which required hospital visits and during the summer I endured over 10 weeks of tooth drama and excruciating agony from an impacted wisdom tooth and extraction, it was hell on earth and relentless. I had a nasty infection with several courses of antibiotics and the worst ever bone spurs erupted which had to be cut off and stitched back up multiple times resulting in several trips to my dentist. The whole experience was traumatic, overwhelming and bloody expensive but I have now fully recovered thankfully. I feel like I spent most of my summer in “Survival Mode” clinging onto hope and my faith. My planned private surgery near Lisbon had to be cancelled just days before my operation due to the ongoing tooth infection so this was horrendous for me and a roller coaster of emotions as I had already visited the hospital and paid for all my pre-op blood tests and had even packed my hospital bag! I dragged my daughter out to house/pet sit unnecessarily as my operation was cancelled and I feel guilty as hell as she missed her freshers week at University. I continue to live with my chronic back pain from failed spinal surgery but after 20+ years I am used to it and manage my pain well as I know my capabilities and limitations. Making your health a priority is one of the best ways to show yourself love.
Just when I thought I was OVER my health challenges of 2022 I was hit with the worst health scare of my life! Randomly, out of the blue, at the end of November, I lost the vision in my right eye! We were enjoying a beautiful Saturday gardening in the sunshine. One minute I’m picking oranges and the next minute I’m in hospital wearing an orange wrist band. I didn’t realise until this tragic day just how sacred my 2 eye organs are. The power of sight is priceless. No, I did not get hit by an orange! The issue occurred randomly with no prior warning. It can happen to anyone at any time but usually occurs as we get older. The retina is the thin lining in the back of the eye, which allows us to see. It’s normally attached to the gel-like substance inside the eye, also known as the vitreous. When the vitreous gel starts to tug away at the retina, it can cause the retina to tear. This can also cause bleeding in the eye if there are blood vessels present. It occurs to 10% of the population so aren’t I the lucky one NOT! I suffered severe floaters – not the poo in the toilet variety, that’s hubby’s specialty (ha ha). Luckily I still have my sense of humour! I lost almost all my vision in right eye which is my good eye. I panicked like hell as my mum had type 1 diabetes, glaucoma and died from a stroke in her early 60’s.
I was rushed to Hospital and they whisked me off and found a hole and a separate tear in my retina. A doctor immediately performed emergency laser eye surgery which felt like electric shocks to my eyeball! I received a first-class service at Coimbra University Hospital and my doctor was amazing. I had a follow up appointment a couple of days later. The doctor explained that I might experience floaters forever due to severity of my case or they might get better in time, it’s a waiting game. If I had left it 24 hours longer the retina would have detached resulting in permanent blindness! I’m a lucky girl but I don’t feel that lucky as after another follow-up appointment, I still have very limited vision. I can’t see much from my right which is scary and I suffered headaches from hell which have reduced significantly, thankfully. I can see shapes but everything has a grey shadow/mist and the floaters appear like rapidly moving spiders and cobwebs which is horrible and affects my balance. We really do take our eyes for granted. I can only hope it improves over time as I don’t want to be semi blind and not have the pleasure of viewing this wonderful country or watching my children walk down the aisle on their wedding days. If the worst happens, I will deal with it and get a guide dog to lead me astray (ha ha). 2022 was also the year we received our first Portuguese parking violation ticket! Whilst attending my follow up appointment at the hospital in Coimbra we apparently parked in a street that was prohibited so had to pay a fine. A couple of weeks after my eye surgery I caught a nasty virus: sore throat, earache, headache, chest pains etc. I have not once caught a cold or flu like bug since relocating here 3 years ago. I blame Perlim as I ventured on a day trip to a Christmas theme park and it was swarming with little people and we all know what germ spreading little monster children are. I also rarely leave the house and we haven’t that long ago stopped wearing face masks due to Covid so I think it was just an excessive exposure to the outside world but luckily by drinking litres of water daily, sipping hot honey & lemon drinks and consuming many oranges from our tree for a much needed vitamin C boost, I recovered pretty rapidly.
Another super stressful event was we experienced our first ever bank fraud which again was shocking and frustrating as hell. Luckily the bank eventually reimbursed all the money that was fraudulently stolen. Finally our ancient old banger needed an expensive repair. It’s falling apart at the seams, not very attractive and struggles to go up hills and cost a whopping €500 to fix (I’m talking about our car not me). I would highly likely cost a lot more to fix starting with a shed load of Botox but I’m trying to grow old gracefully and naturally which is why I look 110. My aim in life is to look like a bag of shit 99% of the time then when I make a small effort and throw a frock on and a dash of make-up there is an element of surprise and I look average-good and pass for a 5/10 (ha ha). If our car keeps on producing hefty invoices each year I am going to have to start selling my used panties online! This means I will have to start wearing some first as I’m The Queen of Commando and I bet the domain name “PleasurePanties.com” has already been snapped up (ha ha). I hope to be sharing a different story by the end of 2023 with regards to my health journey. One of healing, success, peace and happiness. My aim is to become stronger, wiser and full of life. Just when I thought nothing else bad could happen and hubby’s employer made him redundant in December 2022! I have one word “Bejesus!” actually I have 2 words “You Fuckers!” Who the hell sacks someone by email 3 weeks before Christmas with just 1 weeks notice and no pay off severance package! It’s a good job our 10 children are all nearly adults now so understand we can’t send gifts this year as smaller kids would be expecting a special delivery from Santa. Some were more accepting than others so we now have a favourite child and a very close second favourite (ha ha).
Priceless Positives
Now for the Positives: My surgery was cancelled which resulted in my daughter and I sharing a whopping 4 weeks and 4 days of FUN in the SUN. We have completed a few DIY tasks on the house/garden and enjoyed plenty of fun day trips hiking in nature, SUP boarding, exploring historical villages lost in time and we’ve even squeezed in a few awesome city trips. I will always be a country girl at heart and feel my happiest rampaging through forests and hurtling up steep mountains but a girl needs to throw herself outside of her comfort zone occasionally and experience new things. There have been many celebrations late into the night at a few local festivals including a fun local beer fest and an awesome chestnut festival in a rural Portuguese historical mountain village located in the heart of Serra da Estrela. With Covid restrictions removed we had the opportunity to immerse ourselves in the Portuguese tradition, culture, heritage and history. It was so refreshing to be able to mix with the locals and make new friends. Hubby found a new cycle buddy to venture out on early morning cycles with which gives him a break from me, he so deserves it (ha ha). He also got a new job and had to fly back to the UK on business which left me flying solo. I was left to my own devices and obviously caused havoc! There may have been a drunken incident in the garden one evening as it was very dark and when one is pissed as a newt, one is fierce, foolish and untouchable (ha ha). I created a masterpiece of Pink Helen Art in the garden whilst hubby was away. He was delighted with my “Tittie Art Project” and it made him laugh a lot. They are certainly more perkier and rounder than mine (ha ha). Another major accomplishment was receiving the all important and long awaited email from SEF to attend our appointment in Coimbra to receive our WA Biometric residency cards. This is a huge weight off our minds.
There have been so many fun day trips and happy hiking adventures. I’ve ticked a few more things off my bucket list including a magical trip to Monserrate Palace in Sintra which was awesome. I felt like a princess twirling and swirling around the palace and grounds in my pretty frock and lady hat (ha ha). We have also re-visited the paradise of Penacova and the whimsical windmills of Central Portugal which were simply magical. Hubby participated in the incredible Granfondo Serra da Estrela cycle race which was such a major achievement for a grandad and old timer (ha ha). I watched from the sidelines like a proper supportive wifey then I visited the Toy Museum. My biggest accomplishment and tick off of my Portugal bucket list was supposed to be Christmas skiing at the top of Serra da Estrela which is the highest mountain range in mainland Portugal! I had to abolish my plans due to my recent vision loss. We visited a few awesome new places at Christmas including Perlim and Castelo Mágico. Both are Christmas theme parks located at majestic medieval castles which are transformed into magical winter wonderlands. Both experiences were awesome fun and a little bit bonkers like me (ha ha).
There has also been a lot of chilling with our ladies – Chicken and Caffeine Sunset Therapy, the best part of my daily routine. Gardening with chickens is certainly a whole heap of fun! Despite my health challenges this year I’ve managed to maintain my weight at an average of around 8 Stone 7 lbs, still keeping off a whopping 8 Stone which is a major achievement, especially as I am a greedy piglet and I LOVE Portuguese cake. I try my best to keep up with my exercise and physio routine of strength training and power walking/jogging up my local mountain range: Serra do Açor. I still can’t run due to my foot injury from late 2021. I only run when I’m being chased by a stray dog and I don’t have any sausages in my pocket or if someone shouts “Free cake” (ha ha). My aim is for consistency and I work out to get stronger, not to burn calories. I’m not training for skinny perfection but for strong bones and a healthy heart. Having good health is so important at my age. I am “Strong” not “Sexy” but I’m trying my best to work on the sexy part, it may take some time (ha ha). Everything in moderation and balance is key. I am taking a new committed but relaxed approach to managing my maintenance weight loss plan in 2023. I may be a mad menopausal mardy ass but I am strong and unstoppable but my addiction for Portugal cake is fierce, like me (ha ha).
Helen’s Happy Highlights of 2022:
Day Trips Galore – Fun in the Sun
Happy Hiking & Forest Therapy
Middle Aged Swingers
Crazy Celebrations
Sensational SUP
D.I.Y
Granfondo Grandad
Gardening with Chickens
The Tittie Project – Creative Garden Art
Jan 2023 Update
I had to re-design my Tittie art project as the birds and local wildlife took quite a fancy to my nipples and pecked them to pieces! I don’t blame them (ha ha).
Bunny Loving
Penis Pastries – Eating a Shed Load of Portuguese Cakes
Festival Fun
Fighting the Flab – Weight Loss, Health, Fitness & Maintenance
My Local 7km Power Walking/Jogging Route
It’s not difficult to exercise when you have these views on your doorstep! This is my regular route, I’m totally blessed. I also have a shorter 5 km route too for those days when I’m exhausted.
Celebrating Christmas – December 2022 Highlights
Perlim Christmas Theme Park
Castelo Mágico
Aldeia Natal – Cabeça
Avô – Feliz Natal Feliz Ano Novo
City of Coimbra
Xmas Garden – Forum Coimbra
Christmas Eve – Águeda
Christmas Day
Happy Holiday Hiking (27th Dec)
Breathtaking December Views
New Year’s Resolutions
As I mentioned in my last 2 Year Milestone post, I’m not one for making crazy unrealistic New Year Resolutions which are unachievable. These goals usually involve giving something up for good. Last year it all seemed to involve diets and body image whereas this year there seems to be a huge focus on mental health and body positivity, self love and also sobriety, how people have been sober now for a certain number of days. This is truly amazing if you had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol which was obsessive and destroying your health, job, relationships and everyone around you. Good for you, I have nothing but praise and admiration for your journey to recovery. My issue is there seems to be a whole load of people giving up alcohol as a trend, just to rant and rave about it. It’s a bit like when folk cut gluten or dairy out of their lives when they don’t need to or have any medical reason which makes them extremely ill if they eat these types of food groups. For me personally everything is going into my body in moderation. Not everyone drinks to the point they get drunk and out of control. Most of us have an off switch and know when to stop. Personally we rarely drink alcohol which might seem strange considering we have a lounge bar. I want to live a healthy life knowing that I can enjoy a glass or two of mulled wine with a mince pie at Christmas time. Or if I want to raise a glass of champagne at a wedding or chug down a shot of cherry ginja liqueur in a chocolate cup at a local festival then I can. Addiction is one thing but cutting out things in your life for attention seeking is ridiculous. I also feel that alcohol is not the gatekeeper of fun, plenty of folk enjoy nights out without alcohol. I do find the whole concept around alcohol strange as it is the only drug that you have to justify not having.
We are continuing to be as frugal as we can and hope to finish off a few DIY jobs on the house. In April 2023 we are deciding if we are going to make the huge step of selling up and moving to a house with a bit more land so I can live out my crazy donkey dream or if we will stay put at Casa Valhal and renovate the bathrooms and possibly the kitchen. On one hand I am so happy here in this beautiful house surrounded by tranquility but on the other hand I would love to rescue a couple of donkeys and have the opportunity to own more animals. Then I think about growing older, declining health issues and occasionally think it might be best to downsize and buy a cheap small house with a tiny garden (low maintenance), rent out our current home (Casa Valhal) and spend our weekends exploring Portugal. Up until I had my emergency eye surgery in November 2022, I was 90% wanting to relocate and live out my donkey dream but now I am really concerned about my health rapidly decreasing. My eyesight is now poor and not fully recovered so I feel it might be better to stay put or sell up and buy a smaller home with a little garden or balcony. It’s a difficult decision for sure and requires a lot of debating as I really do LOVE our unique schist casa. It’s a perfect paradise for us and I change my mind at least 100 times each day. Hubby being made redundant in December 2022 has obviously hit us hard so I’m not sure if we can even afford a house move in 2023. I am super proud of hubby for gaining employment without any time lapse but his new job is significantly less salary so we will just have to wait and see in April if a house move is financially feasible or not.
I also really want to adopt a rescue dog too when hubby retires. I recently saw an advert on Facebook for a doggie adoption which read: “A beautiful larger than life, mellow bitch for adoption. Requires a big open space to exercise, eats a lot (huge appetite), shy but affectionate and loves cuddles once she has gained your trust” – This advert could be talking about me! I literally thought hubby was trying to offload me and get me officially adopted (ha ha). If we do stay put, one thing I want to do is buy a projector for the garden so we can screen old movies in the garden and chill out in the evenings, it will be like our very own little drive thru with popcorn but minus the car (ha ha). I will also be returning to the UK in 2023 for my daughter’s university graduation, if she passes her final year. I have total faith in her ability to succeed in any challenge she takes on. I hope to team this up with my son’s 30th milestone birthday as I haven’t seen him or hugged him in 3 years! It will be my first trip back since we relocated here and I can’t wait to hug my son and my 80 year old dad. At the present time we are unsure if hubby will accompany me or if he will stay in Portugal for work and to look after our pets. It would be amazing to return together if we can get a house and pet sitter. His sister had a baby in 2022 so it would be lovely to meet baby Rex for the first time and enjoy some cute baby cuddles and snuggles with our new nephew. Universities are strict with a 2 ticket graduation guest policy but NTU allow students to buy 1 additional ticket for a small fee so I would love to attend with Teanna’s biological dad and stepdad as we all get along really well and hubby has basically raised Teanna and lived with her for 8 years of her life. They have a special bond which is unbreakable. Blended families rock!
Final Thoughts of 2022
Relocating to Portugal 3 years ago was honestly the best life decision I have ever made. I wish I had done it sooner but for me personally, I would never have dragged my teenage daughter out of school. It was important for me that she finished her education in the UK. If you relocate here with children, I feel you need to do it when they are still young. Breaking free from the UK shit show, toxic personalities and wandering into the unknown with my eyes wide open was more than a tad scary but just what I needed in my stage of life. There is nothing left for me in the UK. I am living an idyllic lifestyle and I will never take this blessing for granted. 99% of everything here brings me magical energy and warmth to my soul. Cutting negative Nancy’s out of my life feels so bloody fantastic like a weight has lifted from my shoulders. I may have suffered some horrendous health challenges in 2022 but I am staying positive and hoping that my vision will improve in time. I just need to be patient.
We adore our little schist casa, oasis of a garden and our chaotic crazy chickens. I am living the dream life, a simple but significant, peaceful, relaxed and frugal country green life surrounded by mountains and raw nature which suits my inner core. I will never ever get bored of watching the sun set each evening and the magnificent views from my balcony and garden. There is something very empowering about being able to go outside in my panties and a T.Shirt with a strong espresso in hand and not having to worry about anyone around to give you a second glance (ha ha). Village life is perfect and now the locals realise that we are here to stay they have embraced us into the community. The way the Portuguese locals look out for each other in this rural country village I now call home is unparallel and restores my faith in humanity. City folk will never truly understand the power of nature. The feeling of being surrounded by the glory of it and hearing every living creature around you. It’s a truly wonderful journey of happiness and we are experiencing so many spectacular moments and adventures with plenty of belly laughs along the way. I will never take for granted the unbelievable amount of love, life and fun that we share. I am a completely different person now, one I actually quite like and I take every opportunity that life throws at me even pushing myself outside of my comfort zone.
Living here in Portugal along with good health is priceless but do you know what else is priceless? Not having to set an alarm clock each morning (ha ha). Being a “Lady of Leisure” is so much FUN. A huge thank you to my wonderful hubby who works relentlessly hard in his job every day, so I don’t have to. I got lucky the second time around. What can I say, if you don’t find your soulmate in your first marriage, take time out to discover yourself then marry your best friend. It’s a recipe for success unlike my salted cod fish recipe which was doomed to failure as soon as I stood foot in the kitchen (ha ha). We have never been huge party animals or celebrated New Year’s Eve in a crazy way but this day will always be etched in my memory for an eternity because it’s the day we stepped off a plane with just a couple of suitcases and hubby’s bike to start our new life in Portugal. We suffered a significant flight delay and arrived absolutely knackered just before midnight and the start of a whole new year and life. No supermarkets were open due to the holidays and we were starving so had to eat/share a whole M & S tin of Scottish shortbread that I bought as a gift for my neighbour (ha ha).
Be Your Own Pilot of your Destiny
Overall, we haven’t had the best of years and we have faced multiple challenges but hopefully we are through the worst of it and there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I started this post with a reference to time flying by so I will also end on the same note. Time really does fly when you’re having fun. Remember folk, you are the pilot of your life so steer it in the direction that brings you nothing but joy and happiness. I can’t wait to inhale every second of 2023. My future is going to be a golden, sparkly explosion of awesomeness, I can feel it in my bones. I just need my sight to improve so I can continue my crazy adventures with my partner in crime.
If You Never Try You’ll Never Know
Whatever your plans are for 2023, I wish you a HAPPY, HEALTHY and PRODUCTIVE New Year.
Don’t Dream Your Life, Live Your Dreams and be Kind to Others Along the Way!
Our New Year’s Eve Celebrations
Time to PARTY! New Year’s Eve celebrations at the Casa Valhal homestead. I did have elaborate plans of actually venturing outside our house to the Countdown Celebration in Coimbra but the weather sabotaged my joy. The wind was fierce, rain was forecast all evening and we even received severe weather warnings so we abolished our adventure and stayed home. I’m gutted as I really wanted to see the Gypsy Kings as hubby had promised to dance with me to their famous song “Bamboleo” (ha ha).
I made a semi-effort and changed out of my P.J’s. We enjoyed a yummy steak and chip dinner and carried out a few Portuguese Good Luck traditions. Unfortunately I don’t own any blue underwear for good fortune but I participated in the eating of 12 raisins and making wishes but adapted the tradition by adding 12 shots of ginja liquor (ha ha). Hubby attempted the standing on a chair and jumping to the ground with his right foot with cash in his hand – Monopoly cash (ha ha). I think the cash was supposed to go in a shoe and he wouldn’t let me try the chair tradition as he didn’t want to end the night driving me to A & E! (ha ha). There was a gorgeous cake (to celebrate our 3 years here in Portugal) it was accompanied by vanilla and pecan ice cream and washed down with port wine. It was so tasty we both went back for seconds (ha ha). There was plenty of reminiscing about 2022 and making plans for 2023. Then the fun and games began: Monopoly and Throw, throw burrito (This game is hilarious). We ended our night watching the fireworks from our balcony. I can’t believe someone in Vinhó had such an elaborate firework display really close to our home. Bunny Milo joined in the festive party and even wore a little tin foil hat (ha ha). The fluff ball was fine with all the chaos and noise and isn’t phased at all by big bangs. He is a tough fluffy beast with attitude, a bit like me (ha ha). What a perfect evening to end the year.
I’m sparking my way into 2023 with a silly hat on my head and a huge smile on my face. I do apologise for the quality of photos, I decided to let hubby take the photos and use his camera because it’s better at taking night time photos or so I thought. Most of our drunken selfies are a bit light and I look a little pasty like a ghost (ha ha). I couldn’t be bothered to mess around with editing them. I did find a few cute holiday seasonal frames but if you know me, I’m not one for editing how I look or adding filters to make me look younger and fresher. I am nearly 50 and don’t believe in botox or face fillers unless it’s cake (ha ha). I’m not wasting hubby’s hard earned money on ridiculous beauty procedures, I’m going to age appropriately and embrace every crinkle and wrinkle whilst dressing like I’m forever 21 (ha ha). I like to be able to perform facial expressions and move my eyebrows (ha ha). I was going to use a height filter and make hubby 6 foot tall to see if he noticed as he gets a bit paranoid about his height when I wear heels which is not that often. I didn’t bother in the end as I love my short assed man just the way he is, in my eyes he is perfect and my forever soulmate XXX